Quixotic Me: My further adventures in Healthcare land

I’m putting this here to save time explaining this multiple times to multiple people. Many people I who I will send a link to this will already be up to date on some of it.

Hospital stays and medical procedures are not that new to me. The week I spent in the hospital finding out about diabetes at the end of Y2K is one. The week I spent in the hospital finding out about pancreatitis the week after St Patricks day 2013 was another. Kidney stones August of 2024 was outpatient. Carpel tunnel surgery did break the skin (cut my wrists) in February (right hand) and October (left hand) of this year. Also out patient. Mohs surgery the tissue-sparing procedures for basal cell carcinoma on my chest did break the skin several years ago, but was more interesting than anything else. Plus I did have a cool scar like Iron Man for a couple of weeks.

This round started just over a year ago when I pressed a Kaiser doctor about several sets of symptoms that have perplexed me for years. The pain in my ass that has had me lugging around a special seat cushion for the last 10 years. Neuropathy pain getting worse, muscle weakness, dizzy spells (not vertigo, but also vertigo sometimes) and a deep weakness that just happens sometimes causing me to go home so I can pass out. Just to name a few. Not all of them can be hypochondria, can they?

This led to me getting 2 MRIs of my head. They found nothing (add rim shot here). They then sent me to a clusterfuck of outsource neurologists with long wait times between tests and getting results. I complained to Kaiser that this was nonsense and asked that they do it in-house. Which they took very seriously. Since August I’ve seen 4 different specialist doctors and have had at least 30 vials of blood drawn for different things. Cat scans and ultrasound images. Inflammation and more kidney stones are the Dx so far.

Turns out the full spine MRI that was done on October 1st showed damage from arthritis to my cervical spine. Between C5 and C6 (possibly C7 once they get in there and fish around my spine with sharp instruments). The neurologist who ordered the test and the neurosurgeon who he sent me to have been very concerned. Insist that I don’t stretch my neck at all. I started to pantomime doing a neck pop and the dr and his assistant jumped “Stop!” I have to wear a foam neck collar any time I’m out of the house.

Symptoms are; I have so many aches and pains that I just ignore it’s hard to tell, muscle weakness, pain and tingling in my arms and hands. Things I should be able to lift and do are running on empty.

They sent an Rx to Kaiser for what they want to do to me. I got a referral back in a few days. What got approved is:

Anterior cervical arthrodesis, commonly known as ACDF (Anterior Cervical Discectomy and Fusion), is a spine surgery that removes a damaged disc in the neck (anterior approach) and permanently joins (fuses) two or more vertebrae using bone grafts or spacers, often with plates and screws, to relieve pressure on spinal nerves or the cord, treat conditions like herniated discs or bone spurs, and stabilize the spine, leading to pain relief and improved function after non-surgical options fail.

Jan 6 I see my primary care doctor for the usual pre op tests

Jan 12 I see Dr. Rahimifar the neurosurgeon for his pre op process

DTBD I visit the hospital for any tests that they may require

Jan 28 I report to Memorial Hospital for the main event

Internet says: Recovery from C5-C6-C7 neck surgery (often ACDF) involves initial healing in 4-6 weeks, with major improvements in arm pain/numbness, but full bone fusion and symptom resolution can take 3-6 months, with lingering aches potentially lasting up to a year, depending on the procedure

It would be done as an outpatient procedure except that there needs to be someone around to keep an eye on me and change the dressing 3 times a day. Not having a cohabitant, friend or relative to do that for me Medi-Cal should cover a day or two at a Post Acute rehabilitation facility. For that to work I have to be transferred from a hospital not an outpatient surgery center like the place where I had carpal tunnel and kidney stone surgeries done. I don’t know why.

If it’s more than 2 days I’ll need someone to feed my little dog.

However the logistics play out post op: I’ll get a rigid cervical collar to wear for weeks. Oh joy.

This is the concerning part. This year; I had first right then left hand carpel tunnel surgery. Which could be abbreviated to “paying some guy to cut my wrists”.

This video of “paying some guy to cut my throat” is described as minimally invasive. Riiiight.