Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Godawfulmess

Since thoughts and impressions come to me in sometimes random rotation, this post may have more than one topic. Also since I can only sit for a few minutes at a time each new paragraph may have it's own personality. We'll see.

Of the many things that stopped the blogging portion of this process last month one was that I just didn't like where I was going with the posts. I had the idea of using this form of social network to get some back and forth on what I have been finding and perhaps some sense that I am not alone in my project of self change. Perhaps an oxymoron. I got wrapped up in who was responding and the number of page views. This week China is in the lead (what's up Ukraine?). Writing the piece on my old high school buddy was more satisfying than any of the stuff about dieting. I do have a different friend from high school days that needs to be documented. His story is much more intense. I should talk to his family for some of the hazier details but even if I did that it would still be mostly my own recollections. Some of the truth I know and would have to tell, while not damning in my mind, is not PC. It's not like he's going anyplace. The time will be right when it's right.

Part of what prompted me to start a weigh loss program was dissatisfaction with more than just my body size. Many aspects of my life are simply not satisfactory. When I stopped eating the way I was, perhaps it was removing the tranquilizer effects of the food, but my thoughts became clearer. Even my view of reality came into better focus. This tracks with the opiate effect of the glycoprotein gliadin found in wheat that I read about. Whatever the cause, seeing my day to day life for what it is, got to be disturbing. Godawfulmess pretty much describes my home. I am not a picky person. The gentrification that many of my peers are attached to holds no meaning for me. I do however enjoy and feel the benefit of tidy efficient surroundings.

A few years ago when the Drs decided I had allergies (another false lead from main stream medicine) I was compelled to re-decorate my bedroom so that room is usually close to tidy (an overflowing laundry hamper doesn't count). As much as I am feeling better in general I do have a kind of malaise, verging on depression I suppose, then there is the pain I typed about in the last post. This makes housework a challenge but I did make some headway on making my bedroom even more to my liking. The kitchen has been clean from time to time. I have too many pots and pans and gadgets to do much without a total renovation but, like in the bedroom, I made some headway.

I don't use the living room for much so last year I sold the furniture I had but didn't like. It would just be an empty room except for my beloved dining table, a bookcase and the other tables that match the dining table.  Besides this there are more gadgets, the equipment for the hypnosis show and a mountain of other clutter. Under it all the nice wood floor has a coat of some kind of grime. Some of the stuff could go into the garage but that has it's own clutter problem based on the junk on the driveway in front of it. Again malaise and dealing with a pain that seems to get worse if do anything blocks much progress. It seems the hour or two just before work, like now, is a good time to get stuff done. This requires logistics since the stores with cleaning and repair supplies are closed at this time of day. Huff.

At 1056 sq ft my little house has 3 bedrooms a living/dining room, kitchen and laundry area where the dogs live.  The bedroom I use for my office is cluttered but functional. The largest bedroom has a massage table and is somewhat decorated but also suffers from a mountain of stuff. The immediate problem is the one bathroom. With all these functional rooms little space was left for bathrooms in post WWII housing. (the detached garage has it's own sq ft and it's own bathroom, kind of).

When I moved in in 2001 my great friend Steve helped me make the tub into a shower. He questioned why I'd want a shower instead of a tub since a tub is so nice to soak in. When I told him that your basic residential bathtub isn't large enough for a fat guy like me and water at the same time; it didn't seem to register but he was kind enough to help anyway. It was quite the project but after the shower was in and working my interest in making the whole bathroom nice and new just wasn't there. Ironically after not visiting with my friend for quite a while he was over for a visit in March just when the 1947 faucet handles in the sink began to leak. We took the offending val apart and drove to the hardware store only to find that they didn't have the parts we needed for the valve. Later investigation at the industrial plumbing place and after that on the net reveled that my valve was so old it was not listed anyplace and would have to be replaced. After weeks of looking on ebay and elsewhere I found a replacement that fits my personality, taste and budget of $60 or less. Like this but cheaper. It even came with matching towel rack thingys.

Like I said I am not a picky person and having just one valve (hot) is easy enough to work around. I keep telling myself it can wait till I have the (not time, I have time) whatever, to finish the whole bathroom. For the longest time the toilet has been held down by just one bolt. That bolt is failing and the flange in the floor has rotted away so I have no choice but to start the project. I would like to have company over to my house but these conditions won't encourage repeat visits. That means the one in the garage needs to be made functional so I can fix the one in the house. That toilet works but the water runs all the time. I wasn't able to figure it out so just turned the water off. Along with more general alertness is a marked increase in cognitive abilities. I should be able to figure something out. Now just to do it.


I really really appreciate my alone time but wish I had a way to freely associate with other people as well. What ever happened to boarding houses? You keep to your self if you want but have company at meal times. There are common areas should the need strike for a TV watching companion. That's the ticket, a boarding house that serves low carb diet food. Wait a minute, one thing this blog has done is let me put my going on and on about food and health woes in one place. I only bother a few people with my whining in person these days. Rooming with a bunch of underfed fat people? Ech.

Today's weigh in 328.5
down 3 since last week
down 25.2 since June. 

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